Mutant Decking Spiders Or Why Affiliate Marketing Is Better Than Gardening!
Posted under: This blog post only has some flimsy relation to affiliate marketing but it demonstrates why you should always do affiliate marketing instead of gardening! If you don’t like spiders – look away now! Personally I can’t stand the creepy crawly things and once downed two bottles of Thunderbird just to cope with watching Arachnophobia.
Anyway, over the weekend the decking needed to be lifted, so that meant time for some gardening! However, I wasn’t prepared to find that underneath the various planks of wood that there lived the mutant decking spiders from hell:
Now the picture doesn’t do it justice in terms of size (at least 3 or 4 inches), how fast it run (fast) and how loud the girly screams that emanated around Swansea were when it jumped out, reared up and prepared to sink it’s massive fangs into me thus ending a flourishing career in affiliate marketing (aha, affiliate blog relevancy!).
At this point Jude wishes me to point out that she wasn’t the one doing the girly screams. In fact she was the Jude shaped blur heading back into the kitchen!
Now I appreciate that “it’s only a spider” and some may have seen bigger – but personally I’d rather there was a bit of distance between me and the eight legged crawly things… several million miles would do it. Put simply, I can’t stand em!
Unfortunately there were a boatload more spiders hiding under the decking, all big brutes, however none of them were kind enough to hang round long enough for a photo shoot. They were probably scared off by further “oohs”, “arghs” and “blimey look at the size of that one” which must have had the neighbours wondering what was occurring in the garden.
The moral of the story is – leave the decking where it is, don’t do gardening duties and stay inside doing affiliate marketing!
Thunderbird? Pure class man.
I had the exact same experience over the weekend. But I killed the bloody thing!